1.
因為幾個好心國中同學的努力, 我們在 Facebook 設立了一個國中同學會的連絡站. 看到老師和其他同學的消息真是令人高興.
想到 20 幾年前大家同班唸書, 就驚覺時間過得好快好恐怖! 好幾個同學都是二個孩子的爸爸了, 看到他們小孩照片有似曾相識的臉孔,
就覺得遺傳真是一件奇妙的事呀!

2. 最近部落格人氣回復到一天10人次, 讓我感到安心不少. 之前突然比較多人來似乎是因為我在登入的狀況去別人家留言, 所以自曝身分. 不過希望那些不認識的人都被我上一篇不友善的機車文給嚇走了. 說到底還是自己的錯, 下次要好好記得呀!
3. 工作上忙碌的狀況似乎快要告一段落, 但是天生苦命的我又開始擔心之後幾個月的業績, 天氣越來越熱, 一想到要頂著將近 90-100 F 的高溫跑來跑去見客戶就煩. 但是為了生活沒辦法, 只好眼看著自己皮膚越來越差越來越糙老, 到最後賺的錢全部拿去整形拉皮有比較好嗎? 雖然那些看慣老女人的美國朋友常常說我看起來"還算"年輕, 但是我對他們的眼光判斷力以及虛幻的安慰可是一點信心都沒有呀!
4. 前一段時間 King of Pop Michael Jackson 心臟病過世, 引發遺產爭奪戰, 剛好我正在看跟朋友借的山崎豐子的女系家族. 無論小說, 現實生活都在上演一樣的戲碼. 人性的醜陋面又不是沒看過, 只不過當初引發紛爭的金額不夠多, 大家還算在某些情況為自己保留一些不值錢的顏面, 沒有把張牙五爪的真面目露出來嚇人. 根據我雖小的成長經驗, 覺得做人還是要腳踏實地的好. 在人生的道路上或許有一些 shortcut 好像可以省掉不少努力和麻煩, 好像可以因此少吃一點苦, 但是我總覺得走了那條路就是佔了誰的便宜一樣, 以後一定會遭到報應. 父母生給我一個正常的頭腦健全的四肢就夠了 (雖然頭腦被許多朋友譏笑為神經太大條, 我又是全家最矮的小孩很鬱悶) 靠自己努力應該也不會太差, 而且讓我晚上可以睡的著覺, 日子過的心安理得.

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不知道為什麼, 最近來我部落格參觀的人次比較多, 心裡就突然有一點被惹到的感覺. 基本上我不希望有太多我不認識的人來, 但是也不想因此就把部落格鎖起來, 總之連我自己都感覺自己難相處就對了.
這樣講起來好像我多了不起一樣, 其實只因為每天流量從 10 人次增加到 30 人次而已, 這種貧乏到靠盃的流量根本沒人看得上眼, 但是卻因為創世紀最終極的奧秘, 宇宙中不知名的原因惹到我了. 遇到認識的朋友留言我會很高興邊 OS 邊呵呵笑邊回應, 但是不認識的人留言, 就請原諒我會一時害羞而不知道要說什麼. 就跟噗友小B 超級有名的閃光惡劣文 "一切都是因為愛" 的同理可証, 其實根本沒啥不認識的人來我這留言, 一切的一切都是因為我難相處呀.

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今天收到朋友轉寄的這個心理測驗, 聽說很神準. 遇到心理測驗就無法抵擋的我當然就給他試了下去. 我花了將近 10 分鐘才做完, 因為好幾個答案都似是而非讓我很難選, 然後累計的分數就忘光光要從頭算一次. 我做到一半一直不停忘記分數然後從頭算了4次, 要是測驗結果有老人癡呆症這個選項大概就是我了吧!



本心理測試是由中國現代心理研究所以著名的美國蘭德公司(戰略研究所)擬製的一套經典心理測試題為藍本,根據中國人心理特點加以適當改造後形成的心理測試題,目前已被一些著名大公司,作為對員工調整職務的重要輔助試卷,據說效果很好。
甚至已經有人建議作為對公務員的必選輔助心理測試推展使用。注意︰每題只能選擇一個答案,以你的第一印象選答,最後總分值加在一起,即為你的得分,再往下看你的人格特質,試試準不準?

1、你更喜歡吃那種水果?
A、草莓
2

B
、蘋果
3

C
、西瓜
5

D
、鳳梨
10

E
、橘子
15

2、你平時休閑經常去的地方
A
、郊外
2

B
、電影院
3

C
、公園
5

D
、商場
10

E
、酒吧
15

F
、練歌房
20

3、你認為容易吸引你的人是?
A
、有才氣的人
2

B
、倚賴你的人
3

C
、優雅的人
5

D
、善良的人
10

E
、性情豪放的人
15

4、如果你可以成為一種動物,你希望自己是哪種?
A
、貓
2

B
、馬
3

C
、大象
5

D
、猴子
10

E
、狗
15

F
、獅子
20

5、天氣很熱,你更願意選擇什麼模式解暑?
A
、游泳
5

B
、喝冷凍飲料
10

C
、開空調
15

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照片裡的酒都是今天和朋友去 San Antonio Winery 買的. 中間三支是我會去那家酒廠的主要原因, 2005 年的 Cask 520 Bordeaux blend 喝起來芬芳濃郁, 濃度 dry 度口感適中, 是我喝在 30 元之內最好喝的酒. 本來每支 $27.95. 但是因為我是大戶 (誤), 加上同行有美女 Michelle 作陪, 店員 Jerry 伯伯看到美女心花怒放就算我們團購價一支 $25.00. 最讓我高興的原因是那個 2005 年的 Bordeaux 全酒莊只剩4支, 被我們搜括一空之後看著別人買不到的懊惱神情, 真是讓我超滿足的呀阿阿阿阿阿阿!!!

近距離特寫一張

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最近很少更新部落格, 少到登入的密碼都忘光光. 被忘年之交小六用蓮花指指了一下之後, 痛定思痛決定寫一些廢話.
最近心情沒有不好, 但是哭點卻異常的低, 比起我大學二年級在練劍上受到重大創傷和在前公司發現被加薪 4% (還是 6%? 糟糕我忘了) 的屈辱感, 這次哭點低可以排到第三名. 當然前兩次的事件現在回想起來真是可笑得不得了, 要是遇到當時的我, 大概就會拍拍我那像加菲貓的頭說: "傻孩子, 以後還有更雖小的日子等著你, 現在是難過個屁呀!!"
這次的哭點都降落在很奇怪的地方, 肚子太餓等不到朋友送的早餐, 我的鼻腔就開始發酸了 (虧我星期天這麼早起床居然沒早餐吃真是雖死我了嗚嗚嗚); 別人在噗浪上說了一句奇怪的話我就心裡想你為什麼要這樣惹我傷心 (碼的現在連哪句話都不記得了, 我是不是神經病呀); 看到知名部落客壽司回台灣吃了那麼多東西心裡就一陣悽涼, 邊擦眼淚邊感嘆我媽都不讓我去夜市買東西吃; 被網友稱讚慢打好 man 我的怒火和淚水馬上爆發, 覺得下次回台灣一定要打爆他的頭 (這個是我亂編的); 聽到感傷的歌也開始找面紙... 總之莫名其妙的事都可以難過, 害我差點懷疑自己得了產後憂鬱症.
不過這樣自怨自艾下去, 實在是有辱我張小達神經比海底電纜還粗的稱號, 所以決定上網去看看好笑的部落格, 沒想到天不從人願, 一不小心踩到了地雷. 就醬的營養午餐現在應該算是人盡皆知的可愛部落格, 就醬的爆笑文筆跟巧可畫龍點睛的插圖每次都讓我看到肚子痛. 不過這一篇卻讓我這明明沒有生, 未來的小孩還在排隊喝夢婆湯等投胎, 卻疑似產後精神有問題的老OL發飆了.

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1. 最近生活無聊千遍一律, 公司的必取很乖, 想捅我都捅不成功, 實在想不出有什麼好寫的. 唯一想到的是要趕快在4月15號之前報稅, 希望退稅的錢多一點, 以彌補我前幾個月拿到二張罰單的心痛.
2. 根據我自身成長的雖小經驗, 心裡最最最希望的事一定都不會發生. 時間空間太遙遠, 人力也有許多不能及的地方. 怨恨太浪費生命, 感傷又嫌廉價, 還好我裝死的功力一流, 很多情況就只好算了算了.

3. 自從我二月底搬了新家, 每天都自己下廚做飯吃. 說是做"飯", 其實我對白米飯一點都沒興趣, 最愛吃的還是麵食. 舉凡麵條水餃蔥油餅包子饅頭我都愛. 但是身為全家最矮的小孩, 長大到現在才一直吃麵食似乎也沒啥路用.



4. 說到身高, 有噗友說看我照片以為我有 170 cm??? 網路上沒見過面的人就算了, 連上次回台見過好幾次面的小熊也這樣說, 真是讓我百思不得其解. 其實我對自己的身高真是很不滿意, 小時候看電視上有很多健美的沙灘排球選手, 心裡都很希望自己長大後變成高高肌肉結實皮膚曬成蜂蜜小麥色的女運動員, 不過到現在看看鏡子, 只能輕輕地嘆一口氣.

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  • Mar 16 Mon 2009 08:08
  • Smooth

Rob Thomas 的嗓音, 很吸引人. 聽他唱歌, 看他閉眼皺眉的專注表情, 臉上會不自覺地浮出微笑.
當然 Satana 的吉他也是一絕, 尤其是後來變奏的那一段, 聽得我好嗨. 要是能邊聽邊開窗大超速奔馳在空無一人的高速公路上, 一定很過癮! 






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因為關鍵字的關係, 這篇文章會被搜尋到. 基於某種深不可測的理由, 我換了標題. 還有, 我不由自主地畫了很多重點. 就這樣.


本文轉自豆瓣網
2009-02-23 00:33:14


Good evening. I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.


Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and generals tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling lies. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?


My answer would be this: namely, that by telling skilful lies--which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true--the novelist can bring a truth out to a new place and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth-lies within us, within ourselves. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.


Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are only a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.


So let me tell you the truth. In Japan a fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came. The reason for this, of course, was the fierce fighting that was raging in Gaza. The U.N. reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded city of Gaza, many of them unarmed citizens--children and old people.


Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.


Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me-- and especially if they are warning me-- “Don’t go there,” “Don’t do that,” I tend to want to “go there” and “do that”. It’s in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.


And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.


Please do allow me to deliver a message, one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:


“Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg.”


Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg. Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will do it. But if there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?


What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.


But this is not all. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell. This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: it is “The System.” The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others--coldly, efficiently, systematically.


I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it. The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on the System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them. I truly believe it is the novelist’s job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories--stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.


My father passed away last year at the age of ninety. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school in Kyoto, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the small Buddhist altar in our house. One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the battlefield. He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike. Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.


My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.


I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, and we are all fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System. To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong--and too cold. If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others’ souls and from our believing in the warmth we gain by joining souls together.


Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing. We must not allow the System to exploit us. We must not allow the System to take on a life of its own. The System did not make us: we made the System.


That is all I have to say to you.


I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I would like to express my gratitude to the readers in Israel. You are the biggest reason why I am here. And I hope we are sharing something, something very meaningful. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.


Thank you very much.



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回顧過去數十年, 我跟西洋情人節很沒緣分, 不是正值單身, 就是跟前男友分隔兩地, 再不然就是大吵架我跑去跟朋友一起過. 現在的我完完全全想不起來人生中有過任何一個浪漫的情人節. 不過我並沒有指摘任何人的意思, 因為 99% 的責任在我自己, 首先我不太喜歡吃巧克力 (除非是椰子口味), 再者我完全不能理解為什麼很多人喜歡花. 收到一束花的效用只在那短短的五分鐘, 在五分鐘之內享受別人羨幕或妒忌的眼神來滿足自己的虛榮心, 之後就開始煩惱怎麼處理那束擺著佔地方, 馬上丟掉會被罵, 要吃又不能吃, 還會發出腐敗植物味道的東西. 如果再歐巴桑上身, 仔細地把買花的錢換算成十杯 Starbucks 咖啡, 就更覺得唉呀真是浪費.
還有我對情人節排隊吃大餐也有點不以為然, 當天餐廳一定會推出情人節之雖小凱子願者上鉤套餐, 而且還大排長龍無法訂位. 我小時候曾經在中山北路某五星級飯店裡的高級餐廳打過工, 工作之餘就是和同事觀察各個凱子和他們的女伴, 我們這一群賤嘴, 對於顧客的外表跟行為評論內容相當尖酸刻薄, 談話內容機歪到我們都怕現世報生出的小孩沒屁眼, 所以自己去餐廳吃飯當然要避免聖誕節或情人節這種被當凱子/凱娘的節日.
寫到這裡我已經很清楚地表示我算是生活實際的歐巴桑 & 去死去死團的地下會員了, 再加上單身已久, 今年情人節公司的活動我一律心裡怨恨地裝成沒看到, 看到老闆娘送的花也火大到差點把它丟到垃圾筒. 除了前一天 13 號星期五公司提供的免費豪華早餐, 我絲毫感覺不出有要慶祝的必要. 有一位認識已久的小弟在好幾天前就想打聽我情人節計畫, 還說要自己下廚煎牛排給我吃, 但是我們比較算是酒友, 在這種特殊節日和他吃飯相當沒搞頭, 而且我怕食物中毒, 所以就嚴辭拒絕了. (故意提一下表示我還算是有一點行情) 因為最近心情的關係, 我在情人節唯一想做的事, 就是一個人靜靜地去滑雪.

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這篇取名犯太歲的懷念, 並不是真的在懷念什麼, 只是農曆年要到了, 只好把歐巴桑沒有重點的碎碎唸重新改個名字, 加量不加價, 全新包裝價格不變, 看看會不會有新年新氣象的感覺.
到了牛年, 我就滿 36 歲, 堂堂正正地邁入中年了. (咦? 好像之前就已經是中年了吧?) 一個中年歐巴桑大嬸人在異鄉, 平常倒還可以渾渾噩噩過日子, 但是到了年關心情就特別不好. 看到朋友過年放 9 天一股無名火就往腦門上衝. 然後一點小事諸如聚會改期, 噗浪別人寫的東西很無聊, 奶茶太甜, 買生煎包讓我等太久, 週末下雨影響雪況... 等等的事都會讓我的火越燒越旺, 明明知道這也不是誰的錯, 但心裡暴力的一面就偷偷跑出來, 開車在路上看到豬扒肥女牽著醜布拉機的死小孩闖紅燈, 就好想加速把她輾斃, 想著想著頭腦就出現像打電動的畫面, 死豬扒一面被我撞飛一面尖叫, 然後在她落地彈跳後再輾一次. 輾完我就開著車窗一邊 wa ha ha ha ha 瘋狂大笑一邊加速逃逸. 寫到這裡突然突然好想再看一次蝙蝠俠 TDK 裡面 joker 炸掉醫院的畫面, 內心不禁開始興奮起來...唉唉唉 真是糟糕.

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